So Katherine requested that I update this thing. I have been sick the last few days so I don't really have a lot of spare energy laying around to type about my last few weeks. I went to SB last weekend and it was an awesome trip. I caught up in A-town with some high school friends and had a blast. Screamed my lungs out on roller coasters at Magic Mountain. Chilled at the beach. The driving drained my body and my bank account, but it was worth it. That's all I really have to say right now. Work is work. People are leaving, things are changing, it will be interesting in the next month. That was riveting I know.
The End.
So I enrolled today at SBCC to take some online film classes. I am going to try the Screenwriting class for the summer and see how it goes. It is kind of exciting! This is all part of my, I don't want to grow up dilemma. I don't want to have my career at 24. I am too young to be this bogged down, stressed, and suppressed creatively. So, this is my solution - going back to school without really going to school.
What's your favorite type of cheese? Or, if you don't like cheese, why not?
Submitted by Draegon Scribe.
Um, every kind is my favorite kind. If it is cheese, I like it. I draw the line at canned spray-cheese however. My ultimate fave is Monterey Jack, or Kraft singles. Or Crackel Barrel if it is on Ritz Crackers. Mmmmm. Now I am hungry. That reminds me I got a free sample of cheese today it is still in my purse. Ew.
What is your deepest, darkest fear?
Submitted by [Susan].
A: That I will never find true love and always be alone. I don't feel much elaboration is necessary; I think this answer is straight to the point. I know that one must be happy being alone before they can be really happy with their self, but being alone for 24 years takes its toll on one, your self-esteem and confidence, two your inspiration, and three your passion. And I am also afraid that I will think I am in love and then have my heart shattered into pieces. I guess in a way, I am more afraid to fall out of love. But I guess you have to fall IN love first for that to be a risk. Is risk worth taking? I sure think so. But life is a waiting game...and I am the most impatient person I know.
*Natasha Bedingfield - Soulmate*
Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone
She wanders all alone
This is all, she’s ever really known
A stranger in her skin
Nothing more, it’s all she’s ever been
She spills these words across the page
It helps to ease the pain, and she cries
Nobody out there
Wants to understand
Nobody out there
Takes me as I am
I’m feeling alone here
I know there’s got to be
Somebody somewhere
That’s all she wrote
She always feels so small
Pushed aside, a flower on the wall
They never ask her name
No one sees, the girl without a face
She spills these words across the page
It helps to ease the pain, and she cries
Nobody out there
Wants to understand
Nobody out there
Takes me as I am
I’m feeling alone here
I know there’s got to be
Somebody somewhere
That’s all she wrote
Her great escape
She found her place
And she’s never gonna be the same
It’s beautiful
Cuz now she knows
There’s somebody out there
Who wants to understand
There’s somebody out there
Who takes me as I am
I’m feeling at home here
I knew there had to be
Somebody somewhere
--- Ross Copperman, "All She Wrote"
I’m wandering
I’m crawling
I’m two steps away from falling
Just can’t seem to get around
I’m heavy
I’m weary
Not thinking clearly
I just can’t seem to find solid ground
Since you’ve been around
I’m running
I’m hiding
But you’ll never find me
Cuz I’ve always felt lost in a crowd
I’m sinking
I’m drowning
I’m so afraid of losing
My head’s been spinning round and round
Since you’ve been around
I’m foolish and crazy
I just think that maybe I gotta things to figure out
I’m winning
I’m losing
I’m afraid of never choosing this heart of mine, so beaten down
Before you came around
----Rosie Thomas, Since You've Been Around
Seasons change
They change when you don't seem to notice
All of a sudden, wind grows cold
And then the snowflakes start to fall
It's kinda like when fell in love with you
I, I didn't even notice when you didnt love me anymore
Theres a blue, theres a blue sky on my left and a pink sky on my right
And I'm driving down the 92 where the bridge looks like it touches the sky
And I'm thinking to myself
Where did all the time go
And why cant I remember
What it was like when I was young
Seasons change
And you grow a little older
Nothing stays the same
The past becomes the future
Seasons change
And you grow a little older
No one stays the same
And my heart grows a little colder
I'm standing in a parking lot
Of some suburban shopping mall
And I'm dressed in my work uniform making friends with all
The vacant cars
And I'm thinking to myself
I gotta make a big decision today and I hope I choose a better tomorrow
Rather than a better yesterday
Seasons change
And you grow a little older
Nothing stays the same
The past becomes the future
Seasons change
And you grow a little older
No one stays the same
And my heart grows a little warmer
My heart turns a little warmer
Everything turns it turns it turns it turns
Seasons change
And you grow a little wiser
Nothing stays the same
The past becomes the future
Seasons change
Only the cherry blossoms they bloom again
They will bloom, they will bloom
----Susie Suh, "Seasons Change"
Let's lighten the mood up in herrr shall we?
Movies Watched In The Last Few Days That I Have Not Shared With The World That Is You:
Stop-Loss: Too much sexy for one film. And the acting was applause-worthy, except for the blonde nameless actress who broke my heart and I'm sure Mrs. WItherspoon's. But damn that Channing Tatum sure did step it up in this one. *sizzle*
Street Kings: Keanu, I only love you in Speed. Sorry. Quick, you just fucked over Chris Evans, aka Johnny "Flame On" Fantastic, and your cop buddies are evil, corrupt sons of bitches coming to kill you, what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? Der, I don't know. Dr. House, what do you think? I think this movie blows, and you should stay in the matrix, where you are free to suck at acting.
Jumper: Other than Hayden Christensen being amazing at existence, I am glad I did not pay for this movie. It was only 1 hour and 24 minutes long. NOT enough Hayden time, too much Rachel Bilson time, and Jamie Bell was spunky cute British sidekick. He's come a long way from Billy Elliott. Hayden, admittedly and I am so sorry to say it, but I only speak the truth, can't act worth pinto beans and rice. Bad movie. But watch it for the eye candy.
Awake: Immediately after Jumper I watched Awake. Damn two Hayden movies in a row, sensory overload. But I actually semi-liked it. Minus the Alba, and the gross and disturbing chest-opening scenes. I got royally freaked out about the whole idea. But Hayden wasn't so bad in this one. It's different, predictable, but entertaining...and when I say entertaining I mean, "eyecandylicious."
Lions for Lambs: Eh, take it or leave it. Not bad, a little too preachy for me, but eh, it's Robert Redford directing and Tom Cruise acting. Can't except much logic to come from it. It's kind of pointless. But does make you think about some political questions. But a bit pushy and overacted.
An Inconvenient Truth: In my quest to be more "awake" in the goings on of life, I am Netflixing more documentaries. This one disturbed me. It worried me a little, I'm not gonna lie. I would like to travel the world before it shrinks into nothingness and we all perish in horrible weather conditions. I picture Day After Tomorrow meets Armageddon. That's just one big fucking disaster right there. Can't end well. Stop screwing over the planet people!
So tomorrow, from 2:10am today through 2:10am tomorrow, I am pretending I am Canadian (do they get better health care benefits?) and joining in Shutoff Day, or what ever. Shutdown Day? Point is, I am not using my computer all Saturday and I will have to find other ways to occupy my time. I'll let you know if I succeed! Wish me luck!
Ok, that was a time waster. I just needed to type something that wasn't "Spa" related for a few minutes to rejuvenated and renew my life. Oh here I go again....
*TOOTLES*
You are not gone, but I think I have already lost you
You are here, but I do not see your sad, empty eyes
Staring off at a world where you t think you don't belong.
You are not yet dead, but your face is ghostly pale
Your arms are heavy and your knees are frail
Alone in your words, no one can understand your pain
But you don't see mine.
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Inside you broke my heart and took a little piece of me
Maybe one day we'll try again
But it won't ever be the same
If I don't hold on now
Everything fades and slips away
Tomorrow's another start but it looks like everyday"
---Cold, Anatomy of a Tidal Wave
Before i let you go
Give me just one more night to show you
Just how i feel
I lost all my control
If it takes my whole damnned life i'll
Make this up to you
I'm kinda like the waves that roll their whole life
Towards somewhere crashing it on the shore
Thats blown in by the wind that carries the clouds
To hide my wish on a fallen star
A differnt kind of pain, is someone there to hold you
Is someone there to take you away from me
I tried to let you go
I wish i could turn back time and show
You just how i feel
I needed you to know
If it takes my whole damned life i'll
Make this up to you
Before you let me go, i needed you to know
----Cold, A Different Kind of Pain